Wordless Wednesday :

This is why I haven't posted anything for the last few weeks. His name is Alexander James, and he is wonderful. :-)

Extracurricular activities

This summer our 3 year old took swim lessons and gymnastics classes. I wanted her to try some new activities and see if she enjoyed them. I also wanted to see how she would do respecting a teacher's authority and waiting her turn, since she will need to do that at preschool this fall. She did ok with both classes, and I think it was a good experience for her, but we're not continuing either one during the school year. In swimming she unfortunately got water up her nose during the 4th class, and didn't trust her teacher after that. So even though she could do the skills, she did a lot of whining and crying and acted afraid of the water. She enjoyed gymnastics a lot more, and loved all the jumping and different equipment. I liked seeing her persistence trying new things, and how she gained confidence each week. In the beginning she clutched the teacher's hand to walk on the beam, but now she will walk by herself with a huge grin. She doesn't always listen to the teacher, and still complains if the teacher scolds her, but it is cool to see the improvement.
Nevertheless, we won't be doing activities during the school year. She will be in school 2 days a week, and will have our playgroup for field trips. She is not asking to continue gymnastics, and I confess I don't enjoy sitting and entertaining her younger brother while she is in class. With the new baby coming any day now, I am trying to keep life as simple as possible. She's only 3, and I'm sure we have years of soccer, dance, and other activities ahead of us. What age did your children start extracurricular activities? How did you decide which ones to enroll in?

The waiting game...

Military wives should be experts in that virtue called patience. We accept a lifestyle where we are not in control of, well, almost anything. I have learned to accept the unpredictable future of career paths, where we will live, when my husband will be with us, where he will be sent in the world, etc. I know how to be patient waiting for him to come home from a field op, a training mission, or even a deployment. If patience is a virtue, I should be a SAINT by now! So why am I finding it so difficult to wait for this baby???
I am almost 39 weeks pregnant now, so the baby is full-term, completely developed, etc. He could be born at any time. In fact, it seems most of my friends having babies in the last year delivered before this point. I've gained a ton of weight, I am feeling heavy and tired and slow, and it's just getting uncomfortable. I have done my cleaning, and baby preparations, and freezer stocking. Right now life feels like it is on hold, waiting for Alex to make an appearance... and I am feeling just about done.
However, the rational part of my brain tells me that there is no rush. My other kids were born in the 40th week, so there is no reason to expect this one to be earlier. And I know all too well that pregnancy--with all its discomforts--is not nearly as challenging as caring for a newborn!!! At least right now I have quiet naptimes and evenings, and I can sleep through the night! Life with 3 children is not going to be easy, so there is no need to rush into it. Whether it starts this week or next, it's going to happen eventually! So I should enjoy these last few days of snuggling with my 2 kids, being able to carry them, and giving them the attention they crave.
I think there are a few big differences this time around. First of all, my husband is deployed. So even though I have WONDERFUL support from my friends and my mom, I still feel a little bit helpless and scared about giving birth 'alone,' and I would like to get it over with so I can move on to the next exciting stage. Secondly, I have been having contractions on and off the last few days, but the doctors confirmed today that there hasn't been any changes and the baby is not close to being born any time soon. With the other kids, once contractions started, they gradually increased in intensity over the period of a few days, so I had a good idea when the baby would come. These contractions that start and stop without actually accomplishing anything are a little frustrating, painful, and discouraging. I don't mind having them if they lead to the birth! But if they are just random inconveniences that don't do anything to the baby... then I want to get this process moving and get it over with!
Anyway, I think I am done venting my frustration. The baby will be here within the next week or 2, one way or another. I'm doing fine, and I can think of lots of things to enjoy each extra day that I am given. Sure, I want to meet Alex and hold him and kiss him! But I can wait as long as I need to... after all, I do have a lot of experience with waiting!!!

Wordless Wednesday :what Sophie did 2 minutes before bedtime

My bags are packed, i'm ready to go!

I finally made it to 38 weeks in this pregnancy! Not sure I'm ready to be a mom of 3, but I think I 'm ready for the baby. Today I packed my hospital bag. Clothes (including nursing stuff) , toiletries, and snacks for me, plus the going home outfits for little man. I even have a book and some dvd's in case I'm there for a while. And I remembered a bag for all those extras they send you home with. See, 3rd time doing this in 3 years, I feel like a pro! His carseat is in the van, his clothes are all washed in dreft, his bassinet, pack and play, and swing are all set up... I'm ready for him! The only thing I realized I am missing is a baby album for him, but that's an easy fix.
I feel like we have about a week left. My other kids were born on or just after their due date, but I keep feeling this one will be a little early. I have been getting crampy pre -labor contractions today, and with the others I felt like this for several days before active labor began. But I haven't really been nesting yet, and usually that is a good sign things will start soon. My freezer is stocked, and my house is clean, so there's nothing I really HAVE to do. Although I do want to get laundry and grocery shopping done as early in the week as possible! We'll see! Now watch me wait in discomfort for 2 long weeks...

Emotionally Detatched?

Like many military spouses, I try to avoid watching the news during a deployment. I don't mind going to news websites and looking up political stories about what is going on in D.C., but I try to avoid obsessively following military reports from the country where my loved one is working. However, between Facebook and my e-mail home page, it was hard to avoid the news of the U.S. helicopter that was shot down in Afghanistan yesterday, killing 31 people. Since my husband's battalion is "somewhere in Southern Afghanistan" many of the spouses in the battalion immediately became concerned that the largest day of casualties in that country would involve their beloved.
I have to say I was never that concerned. I knew it was unlikely my husband would be on a helicopter, and then when I learned it was Navy Seals, I knew he wasn't involved. I was relieved, and prepared to forget it had even happened. But all day today I am seeing FB posts (from military AND civilians) honoring the memory and sacrifice of those 31 fallen. Has my gratitude for my own husband's safety made me completely numb to the sufferings of other families? Is it selfish of me to care only about him, and not about other military casualties? Last deployment, there were at least 7 deaths in his battalion. But because none of them were his platoon or spouses I knew personally, none of them hit close to home. I think it's healthy to stay somewhat strong and emotionally reserved during deployments so you are not constantly worrying or making yourself sick. But I don't want to be emotionally dead and unsympathetic to others. Do you have a good way of coping during deployments without getting emotionally involved in every news story?

Chillin with the cousins!

Still learning how to post pictures from phone to blog. But here is one from our most recent visitors!

Resource Thursday: FAMILY!

Every week I try to share a useful resource that is available to military families. Usually, I pick something that has recently been helpful to me. Well, this week it has been family!!! I am 9 months pregnant, 50 pounds heavier than this time last year, and it is typically over 100 degrees here in North Carolina. So my energy levels are pretty low, and I get drained very quickly. As much as I want to enjoy my time with my 2 little ones before the baby comes, just getting through the day can be exhausting. This week I had 2 sets of visitors: first my sister Brigid came for a week. We didn't have any special plans. Mostly she just helped me entertain the kids, or stayed home and watched them while I ran some errands kid-free. Plus she helped me cook so I could stock my freezer with post-baby meals. It was wonderful! Then, the last few days we were lucky to finally see my sis-in-law, father-in-law, and the 2 cousins. Even though her kids are a little older than mine (ages 6 and 10, while mine are only 3 and 1), they really play well together! Even every-day things like dress-ups, tea parties, reading books, and blowing bubbles are more fun with cousins around! Plus they had some great times in the backyard and we even spent a morning at the beach! I'm a little tired from all the activity, but I know that without help from family, we would have spent most of our days inside watching TV.
I think a big difference between this deployment and the last one is that I don't really consider family visitors as "guests" anymore. Last time, whenever people were coming to visit, I cleaned the house, did laundry, went shopping, and cooked special meals. I also tried to plan special outings to the limited number of things to do in this area. I always looked forward to visitors, but it was exhausting! This time, I am willing to admit what I can and can't do, and family seems to understand that. I will have plenty of family visits during this deployment, but this time they are coming as helpers, not guests. You want to come see me and the kids? Great! But you might wind up helping me clean, or cook, or I just might ask you to mow the lawn for me. :-) And that is how we will get by!
What is your attitude toward family visits? Are they frequent, or more like annual events? Do you think you treat family visitors like guests or helpers???

Resource Thursday: local cosmetology schools

Yesterday I got a (much-needed) haircut, blowdry, and style. I also got an amazing pedicure! Total bill: $18! How is that possible? All the work was done by cosmetology students from a local college. They typically offer low prices for the full range of salon services: facials, haircuts and styling, manicures, and pedicures. But my prices were even lower because they were reaching out to the wives in our battalion during our deployment as "Project Give Back." The project was developed by one of the teachers to remind the students the importance of being involved in the local community. So all the spouses in our battalion get a temporary discount on pampering, and all the students from the college were delighted to have some new clients and get some practice. The girl who cut my hair got step-by-step directions from her teacher, and she did a great job! Then, seeing how pregnant I am, she gave me an extra-long pedicure/leg massage treatment. It was WONDERFUL! They use all high-quality salon products. It was so great to relax without the kids for a little while, and everyone there was very friendly. I would definitely consider going again!
The school I went to was Miller-Motte School, which has locations around the country. I learned that the local Community College has a cosmetology school with a similar program. I'm sure you can find similar services in your town! Why not try to arrange an outreach program with local military units, like ours did? The spouses will thank you, and a happy spouse at home means a happy Marine, Sailor, or Soldier better able to focus on his job! :-)

Oops...

In all the packing and chaos before a deployment, it's natural for some things to get misplaced. Apparently, this time that included our 3-year-old's birth certificate! For years it sat safely in our lock-box with other essential documents to grab in the event of a fire. Then one day my husband asked that I bring it to his office, because apparently even though she was in DEERS she was never entered into IPAC. I dutifully bring it to him, and make him promise to take care of it and return it promptly. That's the last time I saw it.
He claims he last saw it in our house, when he dutifully brought it home in a manilla folder, which at one point was in our dining room. I have emptied out the dining room, and there are no folders there. I don't usually touch my husband's work papers, but if I do there are only 2 or 3 places I put them. I have checked those places. No birth certificate.
At first we thought, "It will turn up, it has to be here somewhere!" and "it's not like a 3-year-old is going to need it any time soon, right?" Wrong on both counts. It has not turned up, and apparently this is precisely the document needed to enroll her in school this Fall! Awesome. So we are now on several waiting lists while I contact the Vital Records department in her home state and request a copy. I just paid $50 to hopefully get one here next week.
*Sigh* it's always something. But hey, if this is the biggest obstacle we've faced during the deployment so far, I'd say it wasn't too bad! Or too expensive to fix. Wonder what it will be next...
What's the worst thing you have even lost or misplaced? Did it eventually turn up?

Laying down the Law

We have been struggling for some time now with disciplining our 3-year-old. Honestly, most of the time, she is a pretty good kid--very happy temperament, likes to help out, can be really nice to little brother. But she also shows plenty of whining, resistance, and downright violence which is often triggered by seemingly nothing at all. Sometimes she just gets hyper, runs into a room, and knocks down brother. Because there's no clear cause, it's hard to consistently punish her.

My husband and I agree on the big-picture of discipline--we want obedient, respectful kids, we are ok with spanking, and we try to enforce the same house rules. But since I am with the kids all day long, I tend to "choose my battles" and only react over the big things, letting lots of minor whining incidents slide, or just giving them a snack or toy if it will resolve the problem quickly. When he's here, Dan has more of a zero-tolerance policy. He thinks that some behavior is just not acceptable, regardless of their age, the fact that they might be tired, etc. He is quicker to react and send Sophie to her room, when I would have just spanked her or sent her to time-out. Of course, the kids listen better to Daddy. He only needs to say things once-- I usually say them 3 times before I get a response. He gets sick of playing the bad guy, and tells me I just need to say no more often.

Since Daddy won't be back for quite some time, one resolution I am making for this deployment is that I need to get tougher on the discipline. Sometimes I am just being lazy when I ignore minor problems or don't bother disciplining the kids. It seems easier to ignore the problem and get back to what I was doing than to stop, get the story, lay down a punishment, and listen to the inevitable crying and complaining afterward. But I know in the long run this is not a good habit for me! And it is certainly not encouraging the kids to respect me and be obedient in the long run.

So, after some soul-searching and a brief period of feeling like an inadequate parent, I decided to write down our house rules. I made a colorful page with pictures beside each rule:
Listen to Mommy
No hitting
No kicking
No throwing toys
No whining
Share the toys
Wait your turn
Eat with a fork or spoon
Talk quietly at meals
Say "please" and "may I"
I went over it with Sophie this afternoon. We crossed out the bad behaviors, and circled the good ones. If she shows the bad behavior, she will get sent to her room. The good behaviors will earn her stickers on our sticker chart, (which is for another post). It seemed to make a good impression. She asked questions about the pictures, and I explained why it was or was not allowed in our house. Then we put it up on the fridge. Immediately afterward, I asked her to put a ball back in the playroom. She said "I will ROLL it. I will not throw, I will not hit, I will not kick, I will not whine. Daddy will be so proud of me!" I was impressed by that! I'm sure it won't be easy, but having the rules written down reminds me I need to enforce if any of them are broken. I don't expect a fantasy world, but I am hoping for some improvement. I'll let you know how it goes!

Enjoy it while it lasts...

Today was packed. I usually schedule about one outing or "event" per day, whether that is a playdate or simply going to the grocery store. It seems neither the kids nor I can handle much more than that. But today, for some reason, I agreed to THREE different events-- gymnastics class, a 1-year-old's birthday party, and an adult friend's birthday/dinner gathering. I was a little worried my kids would have shortened naps in the afternoon, be cranked up on sugar, and go into total meltdown stage by early evening. However, they actually did just fine!
Sophie was so excited to go to the 1-year-old's party that she kept coming up to me during gymnastics asking if it was over yet. She had a huge smile and had a good time with the teacher, but she just couldn't get party and cupcakes off her mind! We went to the party directly after class, and it was nice--just 3 families with our kids, so they played together pretty well, the adults got to sit around and eat and talk, and everyone had fun in a low-key way.
We came back home, napped, then went off to the dinner party. This was at my friend's apartment, and she just had a baby, but no toddler toys. I didn't know how my kids would do with limited entertainment in a confined space, but they were mostly happy to eat, cuddle on the couch, and watch some older kids play video games. So I actually had adult conversations and got to sit down! And eat! Yay!
I have decided that while there are many challenges to having a 3-year-old and a 19-month old, it's also a pretty nice age. I can just grab their juice cups and go out the door. The older one is potty trained, and the younger one only needs diaper changes a few times a day, so I don't have to think about that too often. They eat most adult food. They can play together and entertain each other with moderate supervision for short periods of time. This is nice.
Unfortunately, I only have a few weeks before we will have a newborn and be back on that crazy schedule of no sleep for Mommy, and a household controlled by baby's eating and sleeping whims. Sure, I know it's just a phase that will be over in a few months. That doesn't mean I have to look forward to it! So I have resolved that the next few weeks are the closest thing I am going to get to a vacation during this deployment. I intend to enjoy my time as a Mommy-of-2 as much as possible, before I forever become Mommy-of-3.

My new best friend: nook app on my phone!

Since receiving my new phone on mother's day, I have been gradually exposed to the amazing impact a "smart" phone can have on your life. I LOVE having internet on my phone, and the fact that I can access e-mail, Facebook, and the Meetup website whether I am in the car, at the grocery store, etc. I have been finding all kinds of useful apps, and am surprised how many of them are FREE!

But my favorite by far is the Nook app from Barnes & Nobles. I love to read, but since having children, I have often complained about the inability to sit down for more than a few minutes at a time and get into a book. When I did try to read, I usually kept the book on my nightstand, where it did me no good if I got a few unexpected quiet moments in the car, or when the kids were playing outside.
My husband is also an avid reader, and we got him a Nook for Christmas, knowing he would make great use of it during deployments. So by the time I got my phone, he already had a Nook account with tons of books downloaded. I downloaded the Nook app for FREE, and instantly had access to everything in our account! Since I always have my phone on me (a deployed husband has that effect on everyone), I can read a few pages throughout the day--when I wake up, when the kids are watching TV, during naptime, when I sit outside and play with them, etc. I have read at least 6 books in the last month--way more than previously. Best of all, my husband and I have access to the same library during the deployment, so we can read the same books together, each at our own pace, and feel a little more connected and in touch during our separation. I love that! Even though we don't have exactly the same taste in books, it is nice to have a hobby that we can share over this distance. Thank you Barnes & Noble's!

Life is not a Strategy Game

Growing up, I played a lot of board games with my sister, who was just 2 years older. The problem was, she is incredibly smart. So she always wanted to play strategy games--Stratego, chess, etc. To even my odds, I always preferred games of chance. My favorite was always Life. You remember, the game with the little car tokens full of pink and blue pegs to represent your family. You spin the wheel and... oh! You wrote a bestselling novel! Collect $150,000! But then next turn... oh! Your house burned down, pay $500,000!

Anyway, I was thinking of that game today, and how unpredictable my real life is now. Since we chose a military life, I think we expected a certain amount of surprises. (The "pegs" in our little car are adding up quickly, and we're about to add another blue one. :-) ) But deployments always heighten the sense of unpredictability. Spin the wheel one day and oh! the car is not working! Spin it again and discover you need to file some obscure paperwork somewhere, and of course they want your husband's signature. So far, so good for us here, but I find myself constantly wondering/worrying-- what problem is going to come up next? I know I CAN and will handle it, because I have to. I just wish I knew when something would go wrong and how hard it will be to fix it. But if I knew that, then I could strategize for it... and life is not really a strategy game is it? If it were, wouldn't that take out all the fun?

Deployment Coping

Well I might as well admit that this is now a deployment blog... at least until February that is! Sure, I will also be having a baby and sharing all kinds of adventures with the kids. But I won't be able to avoid an underlying theme of deployment.
Overall, I admit that I am pretty optimistic about this one. I've been through this enough times before that I know what to expect. Communication should be much better this time than last year's. My husband is in a much safer job position now, so I won't be so worried about bodily harm. I had a newborn (Danny) when our last deployment started, and got through that pretty well, so my confidence is pretty high that I can do it again. And I'm not even taking any online courses this time around, so honestly all I have to do in the next 7 months is have a baby and take care of our 3 small children. Easy, right? :-) That's what I tell myself on good days.
Anyway, we are only on Day 2, so it barely even feels like a deployment yet. However, even though I have hardly cried, I find myself already slipping into my typical coping mechanism: organizing and cleaning. I have always been a bit of a neat freak (just ask the younger sister who had to share a room with me!) but I have become comfortable with a certain level of messiness in the house, caused by husband's gear and hobbies, children's toys, etc. As long as everything is relatively clean and I can work in the kitchen, I'm fine with that. But as soon as husband leaves, I find myself on a rampage to reorganize the whole 4-bedroom house! Last deployment I came home late at night after saying goodbye to him, and immediately started cleaning up his clothes and everyday items that were around the house-- no more boots by the door, shaving cream on the sink, etc. This time I at least waited until the next day to do it. :-) I then started cleaning up all his books and games that were in the downstairs area. Instead of his hobbies taking over the dining room, it is now cleaned out, his things are neatly put away in our closet, and I won't have to look at them for half a year. I think my motivations are 2-fold. Partly, I am doing this because we are about to have a baby and I need to reorganize some parts of the house to accommodate the new little guy: the guest room/ study will be baby's room, so I had to move around some books and make some room in the closet. The dining room will temporarily hold his swing and pack-and-play, so I had to move the table and clean out the corners. But I think the other reason is purely emotional: when I see his things laying around the house those first few days, I get a little catch in my throat and feel melancholy. He was just here a few hours ago, leaving a damp towel in the bathroom, dishes in the sink, food in the refrigerator, etc. Seeing it just reminds me that he won't be around for a long time, so it seems easier to remove all those reminders. I'm not taking his pictures off the walls or anything crazy! It just seems to make sense to temporarily move the things he won't need while he's gone. I've read that there is a psychological benefit to leaving his boots by the door, as a reminder to me and the kids that he will be home soon. That may be true... but it seems silly to trip over them for months at a time when he obviously won't need them.
What do you think? Do you leaves his things around as reminders when he is deployed? Or do you clean and rearrange the house to claim it as YOURS?

Deployment Day 1

Well, I have not been doing much on my blog recently, but that is because I was a little bit busy getting ready for this deployment-- trying to savor as much family time as possible before he left. But now we have said our goodbyes, it has officially begun, and I am ready to settle into deployment mode. Don't get me wrong--I hate deployments as much as the next person! But I think the most stressful part is the few weeks leading up to deployment. You may or may not have an exact flight date, but you know it is coming. You keep thinking of all the things you want to do together, places to take the kids, projects around the house, and so on... and it all has to happen NOW. And while I am focused on all the home/family/paperwork/maintenance things, he is focusing on gear/packing/relaxing. It can be a difficult time for any couple. Once he finally leaves, you can breathe, and begin to settle into that lovely deployment routine.
We were very blessed to actually have a leave block before this deployment, and we took our first family vacation! We had considered visiting family, but he only had a week off, and it was a lot of driving. So we opted instead to just take the kids with us and spend a few days in Myrtle Beach, which is only 2 hours away. We had an amazing time!!!! We were right on the ocean, and the hotel had multiple pools, splash areas, slides, and lazy rivers that kept the kids busy every morning. In the afternoons they took naps and we got to relax, watch TV, and cuddle together listening to the ocean. We also had a BLAST going to Medieval times! Ahhh, so many smiles and good times that week!

It was the perfect thing to take my mind off deployment and just enjoy being a family for a few days. I felt closer to him than I had in a long time--probably because I wasn't distracted by cooking and housework, and he wasn't distracted by work, friends, or video games. We will definitely do something similar when he returns!
So yes, he's gone now, but we have tons of great memories to savor, and I hope that will be enough to keep us strong during the next 7 months!

Well, we survived a month of pre-deployment training! I didn't have a lot of time for blogging, but I did make time to do lots of playdates and field trips with the kids! We went to the zoo, the beach, started gymnastics class on Saturdays for the 3-year-old, and she also just finished two weeks of going to swim lessons every day! Plus, we were graced with a week-long visit from my Mom and sister. They were so helpful taking care of the kids, cleaning my house, and letting me run errands kid-free! And I even got to host a girls' night in/Scentsy party for some of my friends! So all in all, it was a good month. Of course I missed my husband every day, but I was able to keep up with things that needed to get taken care of (like our van door that stopped working) and not stress too much about housework and cooking. I'm fairly proud of how well the kids did without Daddy, and all that I was able to accomplish.

However... I must confess that the 3rd trimester fatigue is catching up with me! I'm not sleeping well at night, which makes me more tired and cranky during the day. Since both my kids still take afternoon naps, I find myself napping with them several days a week. And my exercise machine? Yeah, haven't touched it this month. I'm doing ok, but starting to feel like I am reaching my limits--of energy, patience, etc. I keep feeling that I am just DONE. Which is unfortunate, because the past month was just a short warm-up to prepare for the 7-month deployment that begins way too soon.
On a positive note, my husband is finally HOME, and we have at least a few weeks to enjoy with him, including our first-ever family vacation! I am really looking forward to all that, and hope it will be a good chance to recharge and get fully prepared for the deployment. And the new baby. :-) I can finally relax, share some of the child-raising responsibilities, and try to enjoy my family during the limited time we have.
How about you? What are your favorite pre-deployment tips? Any special family traditions or things you do to make the stressful time leading up to deployment a little better?

Resource Thursday: LINKS classes

Yesterday I went to my first LINKS class. I had heard of these for years, but thought they were for "new" military spouses. Considering myself somewhat seasoned at his point, I figured I already know how to handle deployments, find my way around base, etc. But there was a group of spouses from my husband's company taking it together, and they provided childcare on base, so I thought, "why not?" I am so glad I did!!!

LINKS stands for Lifestyles, Insight, Networking, Knowledge, and Skills. The class I took was for spouses and lasted most of the day, but they have shorter workshops for parents of Marines, children, fiances, etc. The program started 20 years ago during the 1st Gulf War, when spouses who had become used to the "peacetime" cycle of the military suddenly had to handle deployments to the Middle East and learn to navigate military life without their husbands. Each military base offers its own version, and you would get maximum impact if you attended a class when you were new to a base, but even after being here almost 3 years I still learned a lot of valuable info!

The class covers 6 main topics: The Corps (structure and explanation of ranks), Local Services on and off base, Understanding Pay and financial opportunities, Deployment, Military Moves, and Community involvement. I had some experience with most of these topics, but learned a ton of new things in each presentation. Plus, participating with other Marine wives helped me see that my experiences were not unusual or weird, especially when it comes to deployment. There was a sense that "we are all in this together, so let's make the most of it and help each other." So it was a really fun and positive day!

Some of the highlights of what I learned:
-- the infantry at Lejeune is all part of 2nd Marine division, and I now see exactly how my husband's job fits into the hierarchy
-- what to do during Colors on base each morning or evening
-- lots of acronyms and jargon!
-- phone numbers for all kinds of services on base
-- apparently I need to renew my ID card since my husband was promoted last year!
-- details about the base movie theater which I have never used
-- Disney World has a military resort with special military rates!
-- how to get price matching discounts from the Commissary and PX
-- MyPay has a "limited access" option so I don't have to use my husband's login info
-- the RUC code you need for a Red Cross Emergency message is located on the LES
-- how to read and interpret the LES
-- how to use Split Pay
-- the Savings Deposit Program gives you 10% interest during deployments!!!!!
-- there are 6 stages of the deployment cycle, each with its own distinct challenges and emotions
-- you can request a military Sponsor when you move to a new duty station!
-- a dislocation allowance is free money you get for moving: you just have to check the box!
-- how to contact a chaplain besides the one in husband's unit
-- career advancement and education opportunities available to the Marine

Plus I even got a certificate and a goodie bag afterwards! The class was free, the on-site childcare was free... I would say it was a great day! I highly recommend the LINKS class to anyone who hasn't taken it, regardless of how long you have been in the military!

Wordless Wednesday: Danny's recent firsts

First time playing with the sprinkler

First time in his big boy bed

First drawing

First time at the bar stool instead of his high chair

First beach trip this summer

To all new/young Military Wives (and their husbands)...

OK, my husband has only been away at training for 1 week, and we have actually had a great time here! Sure, the kids frustrate me at times, but for the most part we had a really relaxing week, got to spend some time with friends, and I even read THREE books during my free time! I'm realizing how much LESS work I have to do when husband is gone-- I don't have to cook fresh dinners each night or make his lunch, there was 1 less load of laundry, I didn't have to run any errands for him, and I didn't have to watch any hockey! :-)
But already, some of the younger/newer wives in the battalion are starting to bug me. Sure, communication has been limited this week, but my husband has made a few brief phone calls, and we each know the other is doing fine, we say our I love you's, and that's that. But through Facebook and direct conversations, some wives have made it clear that they are already struggling--emotionally, financially, or for some other reason. I was shocked by the situations some wives are in. I want to be compassionate and helpful, but I also think there is a list of reasonable things a wife should have when her husband leaves for any length of time:
1. She should have a phone and a way to consistently pay the bill
2. She should have a drivers' license
3. She should have access to a vehicle to get herself to the grocery store and doctor's appointments.
4. She should be able to pay the household bills and track the family budget
5. She should have at least one person, (friend or family member), who is in the local area and can be reached in case of emergency.

It amazes me that there are wives who somehow get by without some of these things, especially when they are responsible for 1 or more small children! But it amazes me more when husbands leave their wives without working out solutions to some of the above problems. Because then it suddenly falls into the lap of the FRO or the nearest spouse in the battalion when these women aren't able to function without their husband around. Does this list sound reasonable to you? Or are these luxuries that I have come to take for granted?