Wordless Wednesday

Who will do fun things like run the leaf blower in our son's face when Daddy is gone on deployment?

Birthday Party!

Last weekend we celebrated my daughter's 3rd birthday! Yes, it is crazy to believe that she is 3 and to see her exhibiting new "big-girl" behaviors every day. I was so excited that my husband was here for her birthday this year, since he missed it last year and will be missing both our sons birthdays this year. So I had planned a fun backyard BBQ with a bounce house, and invited all our friends. Apparently, we have way too many friends! Because a week before the party we suddenly discovered that our guest list was over 60 people (including kids) and we had no idea how to feed them all. So... we had to start from scratch, "cancel" the party invites, and call just a few close friends to come over and celebrate. We ended up with 7 other families, which was a perfect size. Sophia was grinning all day long. She loved her 'bouncy castle,' her friends, the cupcakes, the presents, the balloons, all of it! It was wonderful to see her so happy, and I actually had a wonderful relaxing time! Most other parties I have gone to without my husband, so it was great to have his help serving food and keeping an eye on the kids.
It's also good that he keeps me in check sometimes. I think as moms we are flooded with birthday party ideas in magazines, conversations, parenting websites, etc. As we were faced with our gigantic guest list, hubby commented, "This is a 3-year-old's party. What you're talking about is what my parents did for my sister's graduation from high school!" And he was right. It is easy to get carried away inviting people, planning a "theme" and buying decorations. But at this age it is the little things that make the kids happy. She was thrilled to pick out "Tangled" plates and napkins, and her favorite colors of balloons, and that's really all it took. I went over the guest list with the birthday girl to whittle it down, and was surprised to hear her say of a few playmates, "I don't really like him/her. Danny (her brother) likes them." So she got to pick the guests, in the end. We had a wonderful day, and I was thrilled to be able to enjoy it as a family. Do you have any memorable birthday stories or tips to share?

I've entered the 21st century!

Since next weekend is our daughter's birthday, my husband surprised me this past weekend with my Mother's day present: a new Droid phone!!! I have finally joined the smart phone culture! This is a pretty big deal, since our previous phones didn't have any internet access or video ability. And now it does more than I can imagine! We have been talking about this for a while, and decided it was a must-have for the upcoming deployment. He will have internet access this time (woohoo!) so being able to connect with him when I am out and about will be a big deal. Plus, I won't have to take pictures with my camera, upload them onto the computer, send them to Target.com, and pick them up in the store to give him prints with each care package. That was exhausting! Now I can easily take pictures and videos of our kids and post them to Facebook for him to see. I am still learning all the different tools and having fun downloading free apps. I see there is a Blogger app which I will have to try. And my husband is already enthralled with Angry Birds. :-)
What are your favorite apps? And what technology do you use to stay connected during deployments?

Resource Thursday: Marine and Family Teambuilding

So this week's Resource is coming out on Friday, mostly because Thursday was spent laid up on the couch with a terrible cold. But I'm feeling better now, and ready to share a new helpful link. The resource is the Marine and Family Team building classes, which are part of the Marine Corps Community Services (MCCS) Family Support program.

You probably know about at least one of the classes they offer: L.I.N.K.S. This class is a great resource for anyone trying to 'learn the ropes,' whether you are brand new to the Marine Corps, or just at a new duty station. Each base offers its own version, reviewing USMC terminology, and providing tons of local resources. Every time your husband joins a new battalion, it would be great to take this class with some other spouses from the battalion and make some new friends.
What you probably didn't realize is that there are TONS of free classes offered through the Marine and Family Teambuilding office. They have classes for Marriage Prep, retreats for strengthening your marriage, CREDO retreats to build your faith, classes to prepare you or your kids for a deployment, and workshops for handling stress and various life skills. It's amazing! I had heard about a few of these classes, but didn't realize until I went to their website what an extensive schedule they have! It's Marine Corps Family Team Building. All classes are free, and free childcare is also usually available, so this is an excellent resource!

This week, my husband and I attended their class on dealing with Challenging Behavior in children. It's part of a regular monthly series they have on disciplining children. I think my husband was a little wary to take advice from 3 PhD's in Psychiatry who weren't actually parents, but I found their approach and their explanations very helpful. It allowed me to take a step back and look at not only WHY our daughter does some of the crazy things she does, but how MY response will either encourage or discourage her behavior in the future. It gave me a lot of confidence to handle a situation that I was starting to feel was out of control! So I think I will continue to attend their classes, especially during deployment when discipline issues are sure to increase.

The Terrible... Threes?

We have nearly finished the terrible two's with our daughter--she turns 3 in a few weeks! Yet as she approaches this birthday, all kinds of new behavior is popping up, and I am not sure I'm a fan of the 3's. It seems that no matter what age your child is, if you talk to any other parent, their response is bound to be, "You think that's bad? Wait until they are (fill in the blank)." This seems to extend beyond the teen years, so I don't know if we have any light at the end of the tunnel! On a positive note, she has recently become much more helpful, able to do chores, able to undress herself, use the bathroom and wash hands alone, play without me for short periods, and (at times) be very generous and obedient. This is all very exciting, and I enjoy watching our toddler turn into a little girl.

However... then there are the new negative behaviors. We have just started the delightful "why?" stage, and the endless chatter and questions is driving me crazy! Additionally, instead of 2-year-old tantrums, she has now become defiant through back talk "I don't want to!" or "I'm too busy!" and through physical violence. Most disturbingly, she has become downright abusive of her little brother, who is not quite 1 and 1/2. Despite our constant efforts to teach her to be gentle and talk to him, she pushes him away, takes his toys, hits him, yells at him, and even sometimes bites him. Of course this horrifies me and we have been trying to discipline her! The problem is, time-outs, slapping her hand, and even strong spankings on her bottom don't seem to have an effect on her behavior. Sure, she might cry or act remorseful for a few minutes, but then she often repeats the behavior as soon as she comes out of her room or the time-out chair. At least she doesn't act this way around other children--just her brother. And it is worst when Daddy is not around for a little while. Unfortunately, with a deployment coming up and another baby on the way in a few months, I am becoming incredibly nervous about my ability to control her and keep her little brothers safe. It's sad that she is such a happy, energetic child, yet shows such ugly, vicious behavior! Does anyone have advice on dealing with defiant/stubborn 3-year-olds? Or discipline ideas besides time-out and hitting? We are considering reward stickers or a chart for good behavior, but aren't sure if she is old enough for that...