Emotionally Detatched?

Like many military spouses, I try to avoid watching the news during a deployment. I don't mind going to news websites and looking up political stories about what is going on in D.C., but I try to avoid obsessively following military reports from the country where my loved one is working. However, between Facebook and my e-mail home page, it was hard to avoid the news of the U.S. helicopter that was shot down in Afghanistan yesterday, killing 31 people. Since my husband's battalion is "somewhere in Southern Afghanistan" many of the spouses in the battalion immediately became concerned that the largest day of casualties in that country would involve their beloved.
I have to say I was never that concerned. I knew it was unlikely my husband would be on a helicopter, and then when I learned it was Navy Seals, I knew he wasn't involved. I was relieved, and prepared to forget it had even happened. But all day today I am seeing FB posts (from military AND civilians) honoring the memory and sacrifice of those 31 fallen. Has my gratitude for my own husband's safety made me completely numb to the sufferings of other families? Is it selfish of me to care only about him, and not about other military casualties? Last deployment, there were at least 7 deaths in his battalion. But because none of them were his platoon or spouses I knew personally, none of them hit close to home. I think it's healthy to stay somewhat strong and emotionally reserved during deployments so you are not constantly worrying or making yourself sick. But I don't want to be emotionally dead and unsympathetic to others. Do you have a good way of coping during deployments without getting emotionally involved in every news story?

Chillin with the cousins!

Still learning how to post pictures from phone to blog. But here is one from our most recent visitors!

Resource Thursday: FAMILY!

Every week I try to share a useful resource that is available to military families. Usually, I pick something that has recently been helpful to me. Well, this week it has been family!!! I am 9 months pregnant, 50 pounds heavier than this time last year, and it is typically over 100 degrees here in North Carolina. So my energy levels are pretty low, and I get drained very quickly. As much as I want to enjoy my time with my 2 little ones before the baby comes, just getting through the day can be exhausting. This week I had 2 sets of visitors: first my sister Brigid came for a week. We didn't have any special plans. Mostly she just helped me entertain the kids, or stayed home and watched them while I ran some errands kid-free. Plus she helped me cook so I could stock my freezer with post-baby meals. It was wonderful! Then, the last few days we were lucky to finally see my sis-in-law, father-in-law, and the 2 cousins. Even though her kids are a little older than mine (ages 6 and 10, while mine are only 3 and 1), they really play well together! Even every-day things like dress-ups, tea parties, reading books, and blowing bubbles are more fun with cousins around! Plus they had some great times in the backyard and we even spent a morning at the beach! I'm a little tired from all the activity, but I know that without help from family, we would have spent most of our days inside watching TV.
I think a big difference between this deployment and the last one is that I don't really consider family visitors as "guests" anymore. Last time, whenever people were coming to visit, I cleaned the house, did laundry, went shopping, and cooked special meals. I also tried to plan special outings to the limited number of things to do in this area. I always looked forward to visitors, but it was exhausting! This time, I am willing to admit what I can and can't do, and family seems to understand that. I will have plenty of family visits during this deployment, but this time they are coming as helpers, not guests. You want to come see me and the kids? Great! But you might wind up helping me clean, or cook, or I just might ask you to mow the lawn for me. :-) And that is how we will get by!
What is your attitude toward family visits? Are they frequent, or more like annual events? Do you think you treat family visitors like guests or helpers???

Resource Thursday: local cosmetology schools

Yesterday I got a (much-needed) haircut, blowdry, and style. I also got an amazing pedicure! Total bill: $18! How is that possible? All the work was done by cosmetology students from a local college. They typically offer low prices for the full range of salon services: facials, haircuts and styling, manicures, and pedicures. But my prices were even lower because they were reaching out to the wives in our battalion during our deployment as "Project Give Back." The project was developed by one of the teachers to remind the students the importance of being involved in the local community. So all the spouses in our battalion get a temporary discount on pampering, and all the students from the college were delighted to have some new clients and get some practice. The girl who cut my hair got step-by-step directions from her teacher, and she did a great job! Then, seeing how pregnant I am, she gave me an extra-long pedicure/leg massage treatment. It was WONDERFUL! They use all high-quality salon products. It was so great to relax without the kids for a little while, and everyone there was very friendly. I would definitely consider going again!
The school I went to was Miller-Motte School, which has locations around the country. I learned that the local Community College has a cosmetology school with a similar program. I'm sure you can find similar services in your town! Why not try to arrange an outreach program with local military units, like ours did? The spouses will thank you, and a happy spouse at home means a happy Marine, Sailor, or Soldier better able to focus on his job! :-)

Oops...

In all the packing and chaos before a deployment, it's natural for some things to get misplaced. Apparently, this time that included our 3-year-old's birth certificate! For years it sat safely in our lock-box with other essential documents to grab in the event of a fire. Then one day my husband asked that I bring it to his office, because apparently even though she was in DEERS she was never entered into IPAC. I dutifully bring it to him, and make him promise to take care of it and return it promptly. That's the last time I saw it.
He claims he last saw it in our house, when he dutifully brought it home in a manilla folder, which at one point was in our dining room. I have emptied out the dining room, and there are no folders there. I don't usually touch my husband's work papers, but if I do there are only 2 or 3 places I put them. I have checked those places. No birth certificate.
At first we thought, "It will turn up, it has to be here somewhere!" and "it's not like a 3-year-old is going to need it any time soon, right?" Wrong on both counts. It has not turned up, and apparently this is precisely the document needed to enroll her in school this Fall! Awesome. So we are now on several waiting lists while I contact the Vital Records department in her home state and request a copy. I just paid $50 to hopefully get one here next week.
*Sigh* it's always something. But hey, if this is the biggest obstacle we've faced during the deployment so far, I'd say it wasn't too bad! Or too expensive to fix. Wonder what it will be next...
What's the worst thing you have even lost or misplaced? Did it eventually turn up?